How Can I Get My Ex Back After an Affair? Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship. I disagree. I believe that every relationship is salvageable if the parties really want to work on it. It is about restoring trust in relationships.
Restoring trust in relationships requires adjustments in attitude and actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship, but that starts with ramping up the level of trust between the couple.
If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which allowed you to stray. There may be something at the relationship’s core that is diseased, but you can heal the disease.
What was it you were looking for when you strayed? Was the sex humdrum? Was your partner too busy for you? Were they just not spending enough time on grooming?
You wouldn’t have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect. What needs to be done to fix it? Often that lies in self analysis. But often, it lies in the couple’s relationship.
Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into couples counseling.
But just understanding our thoughts isn’t enough. The next step is to take actions to fix the problems.
The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things.
One of the best things to do is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will grow in the larger picture of the relationship.
Your partner is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed. This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time. You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course. It is not easy to forgive the breach. If you want to stay, be patient.
This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever. Just be understanding.
Finally, put a positive spin on the incident. Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature. Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.
How Can I Get My Ex Back After an Affair? Restoring trust takes time. It requires that I change my attitudes and my actions. But it is possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result.
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